Goodbyes and the stories we love

Goodbyes suck. Sort of. So why do we say “good” bye? 

Besides the fact that they’re usually on good terms, I think there’s more hidden in the sadness and grief that can come with a parting. In fact, pain means that something special is leaving. 

I’ve had a few goodbyes recently, and there are a few that are around the corner. I cried thinking about them (manly tears). They hurt, to be sure. But there’s a kind of joy in them; a nostalgia, which is probably the better word. They are, in a lot of ways, actual “good” byes. 

Goodbye… imaginary friends?

I love memories. Even as a kid I would just sit and experience the nostalgia of them. I remember listening to sad music so that I would feel the memories more. 

The same feelings come when I finish a good book or a movie or a TV show. I like to sit and digest for a few minutes after a good ending, remembering all that came before that moment.

I might even say some figurative goodbyes to characters, places, or events in the story. 

Stories have this special kind of power and usefulness. We’re in a theoretical world, filled with relevant possibilities. Our empathy puts us in hypothetical shoes, and we visualize ourselves in the world of another. The lessons may come in handy.

More than that, I think stories remind us of the good in the world and the meaningfulness of our lives. All of this was for something. It was beautiful. Purposeful. Valuable. I hate to lose it; I hope to experience more of it, or them. 

Goodbyes, or the endings to the real stories of our own lives, do the same thing. All this was for something. There was purpose, beauty and value. I hate to lose it. Deep down, this person or this thing meant something to me, but also meant something beyond me. They are intrinsically valuable, even if I had never experienced them. 

Honestly, it is moments like these that build my divine hope. A hope of heaven and many more goodbyes in a future eternity – but goodbyes that will only ever be temporal, knowing that those dear to me will always return, or that our paths will cross somewhere in the Universe. And, most importantly, a hope that I will forever know God and forever be satisfied in knowing him. 

Book Review: Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life

For some reason, Jordan B. Peterson is one of the more controversial figures in our world today. 

Hard to say why. 

Reading these pages, Peterson feels like a wise grandfather, as he often does if you’ve ever listened to him live or on a screen. He writes like he talks, rambling and all. But this actually doesn’t hurt the reading. It proves rewarding, in fact, if you don’t mind humouring the sometimes lengthy rabbit holes. 

He’ll take you on some wild adventures, some of which don’t seem immediately relevant to the Rule at hand. But he manages to bring things around, and the monologues add depth and perspective to said Rule. 

I really enjoyed soaking it all in and following him on his many rabbit holes. If you like your literature more to the point, you probably won’t enjoy this read. But if you have some time to just sit and soak in some deep and culturally relevant ramblings, you’ll benefit. 

And that’s what these ramblings are. From postmodernism to social constructivism to a bunch of religious ideas, you’ll be amazed at how out of left field some of the stuff is. But I think you’ll find it fascinating how it all ties together and really makes you think about some of what you take for granted. 

Contrary to popular opinion, Jordan Peterson is not some “alt-right” extremist who’s “out to get” the LGBTQ+ community or the like. Like I said before, he feels like a wise grandpa who comes at you with understanding and balance. You’ll likely find yourself challenged regardless of where you’re coming from on any political or religious spectrums. 

Usefulness vs. Truthfulness

Perhaps my primary criticism of Peterson is that he is, at the core, a hyper-utilitarian. That means he’s all about what’s useful, not necessarily about what is true, ultimately, about the world. This means that as he interprets religious texts or other big-picture concepts, he’s doing it as a psychologist who’s trying to help you better your life. 

Don’t get me wrong: this is great! And it’s to be expected. But he’ll of course miss the mark on some things (like the Bible) since he’s interpreting it through his very utilitarian lense. When our world becomes a matter of usefulness and not about truthfulness, we just lose something. 

Usefulness is a good test of truthfulness, to be sure. But what matters isn’t if something is immediately useful – what matters is what is true. Usefulness can change, depending on your criteria. This is why truth matters first – it defines the criteria, and therefore truth defines usefulness. Not the other way around. 

Without getting into it, this is Jordan B. Peterson’s theism (though he may not like the label). He likes Christianity for its usefulness. God very well might be real, especially if it is an evolutionary adaptation to true principles. For Peterson, belief in God is at least a useful psychological adaptation. Whether or not God is actually real isn’t as important. 

But there’s the miss. God isn’t “useful”. He’s a real being who we were created to know and worship. Hence why rules like these are incredibly helpful; we are designed to live in line with correct, designed principles. 

I hope Dr. Peterson comes to have convictions about God, rather than staying on the fence despite the evidence. But that’s between him and God. I still love and respect the man and a lot of what he’s doing and fighting for. I am proud to see a hard working and respectful Canadian like him encouraging and challenging people to live better lives, even if it means saying hard things. I trust you’ll find his 12 rules (and accompanied ramblings) very helpful!